This Court has witnessed many offenses against reason, but opening at 72% of asking price and then clutching pearls at a full-price counter is the negotiating equivalent of slapping someone with a fish and demanding an apology for their face. The buyer's agent spoke of "leaving room for negotiation" as if the remaining $145,000 was merely a conversational gap to be bridged over coffee, rather than THE PRICE OF A MODEST HOME IN SEVERAL STATES. This Court notes that "strategy" implies forethought, yet nothing about offering $380,000 on a $525,000 property suggests anyone thought at all. The audacity to claim the sellers negotiated in bad faith while opening with an offer that could only be described as "aspirational at best, hallucinatory at worst" has caused Judge Escrow to briefly lose feeling in his left hand. Your sellers' laughter was the only appropriate response, and this Court hopes the wine was expensive. I must adjourn immediately as I feel a ruling-induced migraine approaching.