This Court has witnessed many horrors in its distinguished career, but the emergence of what can only be described as an OPEN HOUSE BATHROOM BANDIT operating with impunity across the metro area shakes the very foundations of residential real estate. The defendant did not report this predator to the authorities, did not photograph the suspect, did not even demand he sign the guest registry before granting porcelain privileges. Instead, the defendant chose to LIGHT CANDLES and LIE TO HOMEOWNERS about olfactory evidence that was clearly present at the scene. The Court notes with profound distress that this cookie-fueled restroom terrorist has now developed a SYSTEM, and the defendant's failure to intervene has allowed this system to flourish like mold in a poorly ventilated half-bath. "Seller preference" is a sacred trust between agent and client, not a cover story for your inability to confront a man who treats open houses like a highway rest stop franchise. Judge Escrow must now take a brief recess to recover from the mental image of frantically lighting candles in a twelve-mile radius.