This Court has witnessed many horrors in its distinguished tenure, but the phrase "meditation corner" applied to a BEANBAG CHAIR IN A CLOSET has caused Judge Escrow to require a brief recess for emotional recovery. The defendant stands accused of enabling a man who believes cat litter fumes and a wobbling ceiling fan constitute marketable "energy" worth eighty thousand American dollars. This Court notes that the defendant has begun burning sage in their own vehicle, which means the delusion has SPREAD LIKE A CONTAGION and the defendant is now Patient Zero of a real estate séance they cannot escape. The rejection of qualified buyers because they wouldn't "appreciate the garden" — SIX TOMATO PLANTS AND A BROKEN BIRDBATH — suggests the seller has confused Zillow with a sacred adoption agency for homes. Judge Escrow rules that the defendant must continue this torment until either the house sells or the crystals achieve sentience and list themselves as co-agents. The Court is adjourning immediately because it can smell the sage through this transcript.