This court has witnessed many indignities, but rarely has an agent been forced to serve as diplomatic courier between reality and whatever fever dream produced a $145,000 discount request accompanied by POETRY about a four-year-old home's "history." The buyer's agent claiming her clients "won't be taken advantage of" while simultaneously demanding free furniture and $15K in closing costs represents a level of cognitive dissonance that frankly concerns Judge Escrow on a medical level. The defendant acted with appropriate professionalism by maintaining composure during what can only be described as a hostage negotiation where the hostage was basic arithmetic. This court commends the seller's ten-second stare, which showed remarkable restraint given that arson remains illegal in most jurisdictions. The counter at full list price was not petty—it was THERAPEUTIC, and this court prescribes the drink immediately. Judge Escrow must now go lie down because he can feel his blood pressure in his TEETH.