This Court has witnessed many affronts to the sacred covenant between agent and seller, but NONE so brazenly minimized as this barefoot chaos goblin's forty-five minute spiritual colonization of another human's refrigerator. The defendant stood idly by while an unfinanced manifestation enthusiast CONSUMED DAIRY, ABSCONDED WITH STAGING DECOR, and apparently whispered sweet nothings to hanging garments, yet reported merely "good traffic" as if this were a routine Tuesday. Good traffic? GOOD TRAFFIC? Judge Escrow has seen rush hour on the 405 and THIS WAS NOT THAT. The perpetrator left a SPOON IN THE SINK like some sort of calling card, a yogurt-smeared taunt, and our agent simply nodded and moved on with their life. This Court finds that "testing the vibes" is not a recognized form of buyer qualification in any jurisdiction, and "manifesting the funds" has never once cleared escrow. The defendant is hereby ordered to confess the full Chobani Incident to their seller while maintaining direct eye contact, so help them God.