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CONFESSION #0027 — BROKER DRAMA
Monday, April 7, 2025
My broker just announced at our Monday meeting that we're "restructuring the commission splits" to "better align with market conditions." Translation: they're taking a bigger cut while simultaneously reducing our marketing budget. But here's the kicker—they're also introducing a new "team collaboration initiative" where we're supposed to share our leads with struggling agents in the office. My leads. The ones I've spent three years cultivating through countless open houses and community events.
Meanwhile, the broker's nephew who got his license six months ago just got assigned the office's only incoming referral this quarter. A $1.2 million listing. The kid still doesn't know how to properly fill out a purchase agreement.
I brought this up privately and was told I need to be "more of a team player" and focus on "abundance mindset." I've hit my sales goals every quarter for four years. I AM the team.
Currently interviewing with two other brokerages while pretending everything is fine at our weekly rah-rah meetings. The audacity of asking us to sing the company chant while actively making our jobs harder is truly something else.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF PREMEDITATED ESCAPE VELOCITY FROM A NEPOTISM CAROUSEL
This Court has reviewed the evidence and finds the defendant GUILTY of the most justified form of corporate desertion known to real estate law. The broker speaks of "abundance mindset" while their nephew—a person who presumably learned the word "escrow" last Tuesday—receives a $1.2 million listing like it was a participation trophy at a soccer game for children who cannot yet locate the ball. This Court notes that "team collaboration initiative" is legal Latin for "we are going to harvest your organs and call it wellness." The defendant has spent FOUR YEARS building relationships while singing company chants, which this Court considers a form of psychological endurance training that should qualify them for hazard pay. You are not the team player; you ARE the team, and the team is currently being asked to carry the broker's nephew across a finish line he does not know exists. Interview with those other brokerages. Interview with VIGOR. This Court must adjourn immediately as I have developed what the medical community calls "secondhand nepotism rage."
Abundance Fraud
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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