This Court has witnessed many sins against the sacred covenant between agent and client, but the audacity of INVENTING sanitation department reconnaissance is a new frontier of creative deception. The defendant was asked to profile a mail carrier's "vibe" and instead of explaining that this is NOT A THING AGENTS DO, they simply conjured fictional reassurances from the void like some sort of suburban oracle. This Court notes with deep concern that the agent "considered" conducting Friday night surveillance for approximately thirty seconds, which is twenty-nine seconds too long for any person with functioning judgment. The thumbs up emoji response to legitimate barking dog complaints is what we in the legal profession call "emotional abandonment with plausible deniability." Judge Escrow himself once muted a conversation with his own mother for three years over a casserole dispute, so the Court understands the impulse, but UNDERSTANDING IS NOT ABSOLUTION. Your therapist may say you are making progress but this Court says you are making problems for future you when this buyer discovers that garbage trucks arrive at 5:47 AM and the mail carrier has what can only be described as "chaotic neutral energy."