This Court has witnessed many acts of closing-table destruction, but NEVER has it beheld such magnificent self-immolation as a man purchasing a forty-five thousand dollar bass vessel seventy-two hours before the most important financial transaction of his natural life. The defendant-buyer stands accused not of stupidity, for stupidity implies accident, but of a WILLFUL NAUTICAL DELUSION so profound that Judge Escrow must pause to collect himself. You shepherded this transaction through FOUR ADDENDUMS. Four! You negotiated peace treaties over sprinkler heads while this man was presumably already browsing boat catalogs with glazed eyes and a heart full of lake dreams. The sellers now service two mortgages while their buyer sleeps in a vessel he cannot legally moor anywhere because HE HAS NO ADDRESS. This Court hereby sentences you to one ceremonial drink of your choosing, to be consumed while staring at a photograph of a boat you will never purchase because you, unlike your client, understand that large purchases have consequences. Judge Escrow must now adjourn to scream into a decorative pillow.