This Court has presided over many delusions but rarely has Judge Escrow witnessed such a profound misunderstanding of the concept of SELLING something. The seller in question appears to believe she is not transferring ownership but rather establishing a constitutional monarchy over her former living room. A golden retriever in a BIRTHDAY HAT, counselor. A FESTIVE CANINE celebrating another year of life. This Court takes judicial notice that golden retrievers are statistically incapable of malice and that birthday hats indicate a loving home environment. The agent is guilty only of possessing a telephone number accessible on Sundays and of failing to block it. Judge Escrow himself once sold a property and wept for three days over what the new owners did with the breakfast nook, but he did not attempt to legislate their area rug placement because he understands PROPERTY LAW. This Court orders the seller to Google "what does selling mean" and sentences the agent to one mandatory spa day upon closing. The Court must now lie down.