Advertisement
CONFESSION #0099 — CLIENT FROM HELL
Wednesday, June 18, 2025
I showed a buyer a house three times. Three separate showings because she "needed to feel the energy at different times of day." Morning light, afternoon vibes, evening ambiance. Fine, whatever, I'm patient. On the third visit, she brings her psychic. I'm not kidding. This woman walks through the house with a bundle of sage, waving her hands around, and tells my buyer that the master bedroom has "troubling spiritual residue" from a past argument. The house was built in 2019. The sellers were the original owners—a young couple who'd been transferred for work. But nope, the psychic detected "ancient discord" and my buyer walked away from a perfect home $30K under market value. Two months later, she texts me a Zillow link for a house in the next county and asks if I can show it to her. Same budget, same wish list, same everything. I told her my schedule was fully booked for the foreseeable future. My schedule was not fully booked. I just cannot compete with the spirit world for commission.
Advertisement
Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF ABANDONMENT OF DUTY IN THE FACE OF PARANORMAL INTERFERENCE
This Court has reviewed the evidence and finds itself in a state of profound judicial conflict. On one hand, you are a licensed professional who owes fiduciary duties to clients regardless of their spiritual advisors. On the OTHER hand, this Court has personally presided over cases involving HOA disputes and I would rather face a THOUSAND SAGE-WIELDING PSYCHICS than endure another hearing about fence height violations. The psychic detected "ancient discord" in a home built during the Trump administration. ANCIENT. The spiritual residue of what, exactly—arguments about whether to install the farmhouse sink? This Court notes that you did not even ATTEMPT to counter with your own mystic, perhaps a competing shaman who could cleanse the cleansing. You simply surrendered the battlefield to the spirit world without firing a single rational shot. Judge Escrow finds your schedule excuse legally flimsy but emotionally bulletproof. The Court must adjourn immediately as we are detecting troubling spiritual residue emanating from our own chambers.
SCANDAL RATING: 6.4/10 Ghosted By Proxy

Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.

Submit Anonymously → Subscribe to the Newsletter
Advertisement

← Back to the Full Docket