My seller called me seventeen times on listing day. Seventeen. I know because my phone tracks it. First call was at 6 AM asking why we weren't number one on Zillow yet. The listing had been live for forty-three minutes. By noon she was convinced I'd sabotaged her sale because only two showing requests had come in. By 3 PM she wanted to fire me. By 6 PM she was crying because her neighbor said the photos made the kitchen look small. By 9 PM she'd rewritten the entire property description herself and texted it to me with "just some light edits" that were 847 words of pure delusion, including the phrase "chef's kiss cabinetry." Day two she wanted to raise the price by $40K because "the market feels hot right now." Day three she wanted to drop it by $60K because "nobody loves this house." Day four she accused me of not marketing hard enough while simultaneously refusing to let anyone schedule showings before 2 PM because she "needs her mornings." We got a full-price offer on day five. She rejected it because the buyers "seemed too eager" and that felt suspicious. I need a vacation.