This Court has seen many things in its distinguished tenure but NEVER has it witnessed such flagrant disregard for interdimensional real estate protocols. The defendant clearly lacks the basic qualifications to practice in a field where sump pumps may or may not serve as gateways to realms beyond our comprehension. Judge Escrow himself once lost a timeshare in Sedona because he refused to acknowledge that the garbage disposal was haunted by the spirit of a disappointed contractor, so THIS COURT UNDERSTANDS THE STAKES. However, the true crime here is patience. Two months of sage inhalation and universe-waiting before seeking judicial intervention suggests a constitutional weakness this Court finds troubling. The spiritual advisor obtaining licensure is frankly the only rational outcome and Judge Escrow wishes her well in her negotiations with whatever entities lurk in American basements. This Court must now adjourn to cleanse its chambers.