This Court has seen audacity, but a $200,000 haircut on a $650,000 home paired with demands for the PATIO FURNITURE is the real estate equivalent of walking into a Michelin-starred restaurant and asking if they'll accept Applebee's gift cards. The buyer's agent had the nerve to call this "starting a conversation" when what she meant was "committing an act of negotiation terrorism." Judge Escrow has reviewed the twelve-page contingency document and finds it legally indistinguishable from a ransom note written by someone who has never successfully ransomed anything. The confession reveals the agent dutifully relayed this circus act to their sellers, which makes them an accomplice to the crime of wasting everyone's Tuesday. Your sellers' response of "no, and also no to everything else forever" should be framed and hung in real estate offices nationwide as a template for dealing with people who confuse Zillow browsing with actual purchasing power. This Court awards you nothing but the memory of that phone call, which will haunt you.