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CONFESSION #0124 — BROKER DRAMA
Sunday, July 13, 2025
My broker decided last month that we needed to have "mandatory team-building" every Friday afternoon. Not optional, not "swing by if you can," but mandatory. So now I'm supposed to cancel my 3pm showing appointments during prime showing hours to sit in the conference room eating stale grocery store cookies while we do trust falls and talk about our "why." Last week's activity was literally going around the circle and sharing our "biggest fear about success." I said mine was missing closings to attend meetings about feelings, and somehow I'm the one who got pulled aside for a "attitude check." Meanwhile, our broker hasn't sold a house since 2019 but has plenty of opinions about how we should all be structuring our days. The same broker who takes 45 minutes to respond to a simple commission split question but can fire off a group text about "maintaining positive energy in the office" in under thirty seconds. I did the math. These meetings have cost me roughly $12,000 in missed opportunities this quarter. But sure, let's do another round of sharing our vision boards.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED ATTENDANCE AT A FEELINGS TRIBUNAL WHILE COMMISSIONS DIE
The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the notion of mandatory trust falls during prime showing hours. Let the record show that Judge Escrow has presided over many tragedies in this courtroom but forcing a producing agent to share their "biggest fear about success" while their phone buzzes with hot leads is a form of professional waterboarding. The broker in question has not closed a transaction since the BEFORE TIMES yet possesses the audacity to lecture on day structure. This Court notes that vision boards have never unlocked a lockbox. The defendant's crime is not their attitude but their continued compliance when they should have simply driven to the showing and blamed traffic. Judge Escrow must now retire to his chambers to recover from the phrase "positive energy in the office" which has triggered what my physician calls "a judicial episode."
SCANDAL RATING: 7.4/10 Death By Committee

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