This Court has seen many crimes against commerce, but rarely has it witnessed such complete capitulation to the whims of a woman who looked at a LAUNDRY ROOM and declared war on the natural order of real estate transactions. You stood there, three days from closing, while a mother who presumably was not on the deed, the loan, or the purchase agreement, conducted an impromptu energy audit of a WASHER AND DRYER. Judge Escrow III must ask: did you attempt to sage the basement? Did you offer to rotate the appliances clockwise? No, you simply absorbed 847 hours of scheduling and negotiating and praying to the closing gods, only to have it vaporized by vibes. The buyer is still out there, accompanied by her mother, hunting for a home with acceptable chi, and you SMILED at her in a COFFEE SHOP like a person who has not been spiritually dismembered. This Court finds you guilty of failing to disclose that you lack the psychological fortification required for this profession, and sentences you to know that somewhere, right now, that mother is rejecting a perfectly good colonial because the garage faces the wrong direction. I need to lie down.