This Court has witnessed many crimes against the sacred covenant of real estate, but NEVER has it beheld such a spectacular failure to establish professional boundaries with a client who clearly believes her split-level ranch has a SOUL that communicates through Pinterest at 2 AM. You rejected an offer FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS over asking because of EMOJI SELECTION? Judge Escrow must pause to collect himself. The defendant sits in their vehicle like a fugitive from their own life, crafting diplomatic responses to a woman who believes a farmhouse ladder belongs in a mid-century modern home—an aesthetic hate crime this Court cannot ignore. Nine days on market. NINE DAYS. This seller has confused you with a therapist, an interior designer, and apparently Zillow's content moderation team. The vintage farmhouse ladder request alone warrants immediate case dismissal and witness protection enrollment. This Court sentences you to block her number between 9 PM and 8 AM and to practice the phrase "that's outside the scope of our agreement" in the mirror until you believe it.