I spent three months working with a buyer who told me, very seriously, that she needed to "feel the energy" of each house before considering an offer. Fine. I can work with that. What I didn't realize was that "feeling the energy" meant standing silently in every single room for exactly four minutes with her eyes closed while I awkwardly waited in the doorway. Every. Single. Room. Including closets. Including the garage. We toured nineteen houses this way. Do you know how long it takes to "energy check" a five-bedroom colonial? I do. It's two hours and seventeen minutes. After all that, she finally found "the one." Amazing energy, she said. Perfect vibrations. We wrote an offer that night. She backed out the next morning because her psychic told her Mercury was in retrograde and it wasn't the right time to buy property. She asked if I'd be available to start looking again in six weeks when Mercury sorted itself out. I told her I was going into witness protection. She asked if the energy was good there.