This Court has witnessed many acts of cowardice but rarely one so EXQUISITELY CALCULATED. The defendant has constructed an elaborate witness protection program for herself, hiding behind the beige camouflage of "logistics coordination" while her real estate license gathers dust in her soul. And yet, THIS COURT CANNOT FULLY CONDEMN HER. Judge Escrow himself once told a persistent nephew he worked in "document processing" to avoid reviewing his business plan for a combination laundromat-escape room, so perhaps there is wisdom in strategic obscurity. However, nodding sympathetically while someone maligns your own profession? That is the behavior of a DOUBLE AGENT and this Court finds it both disturbing and, frankly, aspirational. The defendant shall be sentenced to attend one social gathering per quarter where she must loudly announce her profession within the first three minutes, then immediately excuse herself to the appetizer table with diplomatic immunity. This Court needs a moment because I am now reconsidering everything I have ever admitted to strangers at parties.