This Court has presided over many travesties of real estate judgment, but HIDING IN A GARAGE TO SURVEIL STRANGERS OPENING A CLOSET is a level of unhinged behavior that demands immediate intervention. The agent stands accused not of the seller's madness, but of the far graver crime of attempting to implement a "seriousness test" for closet access as if this were some kind of Narnia situation requiring proof of worthiness. You asked how to measure seriousness. YOU ASKED. The correct response was to laugh directly into the phone and then pretend the call dropped. Four agents thought your instructions were a joke because they WERE a joke, counsel, and the only person not laughing is your seller, who is presumably still in that garage, watching, waiting, protecting her cardigans from the eyes of the unworthy. Judge Escrow sentences you to one mandatory vacation and a new client intake questionnaire that includes the question "Do you own binoculars and if so, why."