Advertisement
CONFESSION #0190 — BROKER DRAMA
Wednesday, September 17, 2025
My broker just announced we're switching to our fourth CRM system in two years because he went to a conference and got excited about some new platform. We've got three weeks to migrate everything over, and of course there's no training budget because "it's intuitive." Meanwhile, I've got 47 active leads in the current system, two closings this month, and now I'm supposed to spend my evenings watching YouTube tutorials on software that'll probably get replaced again by spring. The best part? He sent the announcement email at 11 PM on a Friday with the subject line "Exciting Changes Ahead!" Nothing good has ever followed those words. Half my team is pretending they didn't see the email yet, and the other half is quietly updating their resumes. I've been in this business twelve years and I swear brokers treat technology decisions like impulse purchases at Target. Oh, this one has better dashboards? Sold. Never mind that we just finally figured out how to run reports in the last one.
Advertisement
Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF TECHNOLOGY WHIPLASH IN THE FIRST DEGREE
This court has seen many crimes against productivity, but FOUR CRM SYSTEMS IN TWO YEARS is the kind of chaos that makes Judge Escrow question whether brokers should be allowed near conferences unsupervised. The defendant's broker has confused "innovation" with "whatever had the best booth graphics and free pens." An 11 PM Friday email with "Exciting Changes Ahead" is legally classified as workplace terrorism in seventeen jurisdictions that I have personally invented for this purpose. This court notes that "intuitive software" is a phrase only used by people who will never actually use the software. The defendant's comparison to Target impulse purchases is GENEROUS because at least Target has a return policy. Judge Escrow must adjourn immediately as he has developed a migraine thinking about data migration spreadsheets.
SCANDAL RATING: 7.4/10 Conference-Induced Chaos Syndrome

Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.

Submit Anonymously → Subscribe to the Newsletter
Advertisement

← Back to the Full Docket