This Court has reviewed the evidence and finds the defendant GUILTY of succumbing to what can only be described as the Barbara Protocol, a phenomenon wherein a relative with no financial stake, no local knowledge, and no apparent grasp of cartographic science is permitted to override months of rational decision-making because vibes. The Oreo consumption is not only excusable but JUDICIALLY MANDATED under these circumstances. However, this Court must address the defendant's new policy of aunt-based client discrimination with some concern, as it fails to account for the equally destructive uncle, the meddling cousin, and the friend from college who once watched a documentary about mold. Judge Escrow himself once lost a ruling because a bailiff's mother-in-law thought the courtroom "smelled ambitious." The flood maps FELT WRONG. This Court needs to lie down. The defendant is sentenced to continued vigilance against all extended family members who arrive unannounced with opinions and sensible cardigans.