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CONFESSION #0205 — SELLER MELTDOWN
Thursday, October 2, 2025
I had a seller who was completely fine—calm, reasonable, easy to work with—right up until we got our first offer. It was $15,000 below asking, which in this market is basically a compliment. But you would have thought I'd personally insulted her grandmother's grave. She called me seventeen times in two hours. Seventeen. I know because my phone logged them. She wanted to know if the buyers were "serious people" and whether we should "report them to someone." Report them to who? The real estate police? By the third day of negotiations, she was convinced I was secretly working for the buyers because I suggested we counter at $8,000 below asking instead of raising the price out of spite. She actually said, "Maybe we should just list higher to teach them a lesson." Teach THEM a lesson. We ended up selling for $5,000 below original asking, which she now describes to everyone as "a robbery" that happened "because my agent rushed me." I have the text messages where she begged me to "just make it stop" during week two of negotiations. I screenshot everything now.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF ENDURING NEGOTIATION TERRORISM WHILE MAINTAINING PROFESSIONAL COMPOSURE
This Court has reviewed the evidence and finds the confessing agent GUILTY of possessing the patience of a saint trapped in a profession that rewards it with nothing but more phone calls. SEVENTEEN CALLS IN TWO HOURS. That is not a client, that is a hostage situation where YOU are the hostage. The Court notes with grim satisfaction that you now screenshot everything, which is not paranoia but survival, and frankly should be taught in real estate school alongside "how to smile while someone accuses you of crimes that do not exist." The suggestion to "report" buyers for the audacity of making an offer is so unhinged that Judge Escrow must take a moment to collect himself. This Court finds the phrase "teach them a lesson" to be grounds for immediate disbarment from using words. The defendant is hereby sentenced to one year of only representing buyers who lowball in silence, and the seller in question is sentenced to explaining to her friends why "robbery" means "getting ninety-seven percent of what you wanted." I need to go lie down.
SCANDAL RATING: 7.4/10 Negotiation Hostage Syndrome

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