I hosted an open house last month where a guy walked in, ignored my greeting completely, and proceeded to open every single cabinet in the kitchen. Every. Single. One. Then he started testing the water pressure in all three bathrooms simultaneously and left them running. While I'm chasing him around turning off faucets, his wife is in the master bedroom measuring for furniture they definitely weren't going to buy because—as she loudly announced to someone on speakerphone—they were "just getting ideas for when they build their own place someday." Meanwhile, a different couple let their toddler eat crackers on the white carpet, and an elderly man asked me if the sellers would include their dog in the sale. The actual living dog. I smiled for four straight hours, handed out my cards to people who were absolutely never going to call me, and sold exactly zero houses. The next morning the sellers asked why attendance was "low" because apparently twelve groups of people treating their home like a free zoo exhibit wasn't enough traffic. I'm hosting another one this Sunday. Can't wait.