This Court has reviewed the evidence and finds the defendant GUILTY of what we in the legal profession call Pathetic Digital Surveillance Syndrome, a condition this Court knows intimately because I once spent FOUR HOURS analyzing the LinkedIn profile of a bailiff who did not laugh at my joke about subpoenas. The defendant claims they hope it sells but Judge Escrow III sees through this transparent fiction like he sees through the mall kiosk headshot of their replacement, which this Court agrees looks like it was taken during a going-out-of-business sale at Sears Portrait Studio. The twenty minutes spent critiquing photos is not the crime here; the crime is that you STOPPED at twenty minutes when there were clearly typos to screenshot and send to no one. You rehearsed in the car. You made CHARTS. And they chose someone whose staging includes visible laundry like some kind of ANIMAL. This Court sentences you to permanent residence in the group chat where you will be legally required to share the listing with the caption "not being petty but" at least three times before it goes pending. I need to lie down.