I received an offer yesterday that I genuinely thought was a joke. Like, I checked to see if it was April 1st. The property is listed at $485,000, priced competitively based on three recent comps within a half mile. The offer? $312,000. No explanation, no cover letter, nothing. Just a purchase agreement that might as well have been written in crayon. So I call the buyer's agent, trying to stay professional, and she says—I kid you not—"My clients feel that's what the home is worth to them." WORTH TO THEM. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. I don't walk into Target and tell them a sixty dollar lamp is "worth twelve dollars to me." The best part? They wanted the seller to pay all closing costs AND leave the riding lawn mower. The audacity. The sheer audacity. I presented it to my sellers with a straight face because that's my job. They asked if they should counter. I said sure, and suggested we counter at $485,000. Sometimes the only appropriate response to absurdity is more absurdity.