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CONFESSION #0262 — CLIENT FROM HELL
Friday, November 28, 2025
I showed the same couple 47 houses over eight months. Forty-seven. I kept a spreadsheet because I knew no one would believe me. They found something wrong with every single one. Too close to a road. Too far from a road. Backyard faces east. Backyard faces west. One house was rejected because the neighbor's dog "looked aggressive" through the fence. It was a golden retriever. Finally, FINALLY, they put in an offer on house number 48. We went under contract. I cried actual tears of relief in my car. Three days before closing, they backed out because the wife "got a bad vibe" when she drove by at night and saw the street was "too dark." They asked if I could show them a few more places the following weekend. I told them I was transferring their file to a colleague because I was "restructuring my business." The colleague doesn't exist. I just blocked their numbers and moved on with my life. Some clients aren't worth the commission. Some clients aren't worth any amount of money on earth.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF JUSTIFIABLE CLIENT ABANDONMENT IN THE FIRST DEGREE
This Court has reviewed the evidence including the alleged spreadsheet and finds the defendant not only innocent of wrongdoing but possibly eligible for sainthood. FORTY-SEVEN HOUSES. The golden retriever was described as aggressive. THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER. This Court has presided over many cases of agent misconduct but this is the first instance where Judge Escrow has openly wept at his bench not from disappointment but from secondhand trauma. The fictional colleague was a stroke of genius and this Court rules that said colleague should remain permanently fictional and unburdened by these people. The wife got a "bad vibe" from darkness which is simply what happens at night. This Court sentences the clients to find their own housing using only Zillow and their vibes and may God have mercy on whatever listing agent they torment next.
SCANDAL RATING: 3.2/10 Justified Ghosting

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