This Court has witnessed many crimes against reason, but the specter of the Coworker's Husband's Cousin looms before us like a phantom menace constructed entirely of audacity and zero zillow searches. The defendant agent displayed CRIMINAL PATIENCE in the face of what can only be described as a telephone game of terrible advice originating from someone two states away who has presumably never seen a 1920s built-in and wouldn't know character if it installed original crown molding in their living room. Judge Escrow must pause here to compose himself because SEVENTEEN HEART EMOJIS for a new construction condo is the kind of violence this Court was not prepared to adjudicate today. The defendant's sin was not in offering the referral paperwork—that was poetry—but in failing to physically manifest in that woman's home with laminated comps and a PowerPoint titled "Your Coworker's Husband's Cousin Is A Chaos Agent." The $40,000 premium she ultimately paid is what this Court calls the Stupidity Tax, and it is non-refundable. This Court needs to lie down.