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CONFESSION #0292 — LOWBALL OFFER
Sunday, December 28, 2025
I received an offer last week that I genuinely thought was a typo. The house was listed at $525,000, priced competitively based on three recent comps within a half mile. The offer came in at $340,000. I stared at my screen for a solid minute waiting for a follow-up email saying "oops, meant $440,000" or something. Nope. The buyer's agent called me and with a completely straight voice explained that her clients "really love the house but feel the market is shifting and want to get ahead of the correction." A $185,000 correction. On a house that had twelve showings in four days. I had to call my sellers and professionally present this offer with a straight face, which honestly deserves an Oscar. They asked if it was a joke. I said no. They asked if the buyers were aware it was a three bedroom house and not a garden shed. I had no good answer. The best part? The buyer's agent asked if we'd consider a counteroffer. I said sure, we counter at full list price. She seemed genuinely offended.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED LOWBALL TRANSMISSION IN THE FIRST DEGREE
This Court has presided over many indignities but rarely has Judge Escrow witnessed such AUDACIOUS NUMERICAL VIOLENCE committed against a perfectly reasonable listing price. The confession reveals an agent forced to professionally present what can only be described as a financial ransom note written by someone who believes "market correction" means "I would like things to cost less." Twelve showings in four days and these buyers detected a secret $185,000 correction that somehow escaped every other interested party with functioning eyes. The buyer's agent's offense at your full-price counter is the cherry atop this sundae of delusion. This Court commends you for maintaining your composure while your soul left your body and wandered the subdivision seeking answers that will never come. Judge Escrow must now lie down.
Delusional Discount Syndrome
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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