This Court has witnessed many frauds upon the profession but RARELY one so perfectly encapsulated as a man standing before his own six-foot facial banner proclaiming the absence of the letter I in team. The defendant broker has committed what this bench calls Aspirational Malpractice in the First Degree, wherein one substitutes vision boards for viable business plans and headshot gravitas for actual gravitational pull in the marketplace. Judge Escrow himself once knew a man who rebranded his lemonade stand four times before age nine and that child grew up to be a BOAT OWNER as well, which is not the compliment these people think it is. The copier has been broken for SIX WEEKS. Six weeks! A copier is not a luxury item it is the SPINE of commerce and yet here we are manifesting luxury while documents pile up like accusations against a man who has forgotten his own MLS password. This Court sentences the broker to one full year of actually closing deals before speaking again, and orders the immediate removal of all facial banners exceeding two feet in any dimension. The agent is granted emergency permission to update their resume during any meeting that includes the phrase "luxury mindset." This Court needs air.