Advertisement
CONFESSION #0310 — OTHER
Thursday, January 15, 2026
I spent three hours last week creating the most beautiful comparative market analysis you've ever seen. Charts, graphs, neighborhood trends, recent sales data with photos, the whole thing. Printed it on nice paper. Brought it to the listing appointment in a professional folder.
The seller glanced at it for maybe four seconds, pushed it aside, and said "Yeah but my neighbor told me her cousin's friend sold a similar house for way more in 2021."
2021. During the feeding frenzy. When houses were selling for forty percent over asking with no inspections.
I tried to explain market conditions. I showed her the data. I pulled up actual closed sales from the last ninety days. She nodded politely and then asked if I could list it for eighty thousand more than my suggested price "just to see what happens."
So now I have an overpriced listing that's been sitting for six weeks, I'm paying for photos and marketing on a property that won't sell, and every week she calls to ask why there's no interest.
But sure, it's definitely my marketing strategy and not the fact that we're priced for a market that ended two years ago.
Advertisement
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF PREMEDITATED DATA HOMICIDE IN THE FIRST DEGREE
This Court has witnessed many crimes against reason, but rarely has evidence been so BRUTALLY MURDERED in plain sight. The defendant prepared a scholarly work of market analysis, charts gleaming with truth, graphs singing the song of comparable sales, and the seller responded by invoking the sacred testimony of her neighbor's cousin's friend from the Year of Our Lord 2021. TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY-ONE. When buyers were feral creatures hurling cash at anything with a roof and waiving inspections like they were declining extended warranties. The defendant now sits trapped in a prison of their own professional courtesy, hemorrhaging marketing dollars on a listing priced for a fever dream that ended twenty-four months ago. Judge Escrow III has seen this pattern before and it always ends the same way: the agent quietly dying inside during weekly phone calls that begin with "so why isn't anyone interested?" This Court must excuse itself to lie down in a dark room.
The Anecdotal Evidence Massacre
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
Advertisement