This court has seen many affronts to human dignity but using a real estate agent as a WEEKEND ACTIVITY ranks among the most creatively cruel. The confession clearly establishes that these individuals viewed forty-three properties with the same intention one might have when visiting a petting zoo: mild entertainment with zero commitment to taking anything home. Judge Escrow himself once showed a property to a man who asked if he could "just smell the basement one more time" and that man at least had the decency to be clinically unwell. These people are HOBBYISTS OF HUMAN MISERY and they should be sentenced to attend every open house in a fifty-mile radius while being followed by someone who keeps asking if they're "really serious this time." The confession reveals a spreadsheet exists and this court would very much like to see it entered into evidence for purposes Judge Escrow chooses not to disclose. I am awarding the agent emotional damages in the amount of one long scream into a pillow. This court is in recess because I need to lie down.