I set up for an open house last month, fresh flowers, cookies in the oven, soft jazz playing, the whole nine yards. Twenty minutes in, a couple walks through the front door with their "emotional support parrot" on the guy's shoulder. No cage. Just a full-sized macaw named Captain who immediately started screaming what I can only describe as obscenities in three different languages. They insisted on touring every room while this bird shrieked and occasionally lunged at the crown molding. I watched in horror as Captain left a "deposit" on the seller's white linen couch. The couple didn't even acknowledge it. Just kept asking about the HOA fees while I stood there calculating how much that upholstery cleaning was going to cost me. The best part? They weren't even qualified buyers. They told me at the end they were "just getting ideas" for when they win the lottery. Meanwhile, I had to explain to my sellers why their living room smelled like a pet store and their couch looked like a crime scene. I've started including "no exotic birds" in my open house welcome signs and I'm not even joking.