Just submitted a lowball offer so ridiculous that I actually apologized to the listing agent before I even sent it over. My buyers wanted to offer $87,000 under asking on a house that's already priced competitively and had three showings scheduled that same day. I tried explaining comps, market conditions, the fact that the sellers just installed a brand new roof. Didn't matter. They'd "done their research" which apparently means they watched four episodes of some house flipping show and decided everything is negotiable. The listing agent called me back and just sighed. Didn't even say hello, just sighed. I felt that sigh in my soul. She asked if my buyers were serious or if this was some kind of test. I told her I'd tried to talk them up but they were convinced the sellers were "desperate." The sellers are not desperate. The sellers are a retired couple who will happily wait another month for a real offer. My buyers are now shocked—SHOCKED—that their offer was rejected without a counter. They want to know if we should go up five thousand. I need a drink.