This Court has witnessed many things in its distinguished tenure, but never before has it seen an agent so thoroughly BROKEN by a client's shadow-based decision-making that they fabricated an entire career change to escape. The defendant spent eleven weeks—ELEVEN WEEKS—catering to a woman who rejected properties based on garage compass orientation and what she described as "aggressive backyard energy," and the Court must pause here to note that Judge Escrow's own backyard has been described as "passive-aggressive" at best, so perhaps there is something to this. When the buyer finally backed out because a MUNICIPAL STREETLIGHT cast an ominous shadow, the defendant's spirit left their body and has not returned. The lie about transitioning out of real estate is technically fraud, but this Court understands that sometimes the human psyche simply cannot absorb another Zillow link from someone who believes wind chimes reveal character defects. Judge Escrow must adjourn immediately as he has just remembered his own garage faces east and needs to sit with that information.