The Court is APPALLED but frankly unsurprised that an agent would stand there clutching a feature sheet like a security blanket while a innocent woman was ATTACKED by Swedish minimalism. Let the record show that mid-century modern furniture is notoriously treacherous — Reginald himself once lost a perfectly good afternoon to a Barcelona chair that refused to acknowledge his lumbar needs, and I have NEVER forgotten. You speak of this couch as though it were beautiful, but beauty without structural integrity is just a lawsuit waiting to happen, as established in IKEA v. The American Spine, 2019. The husband was RIGHT to be suspicious — if a home cannot support a simple four-legged seating apparatus, what ELSE is lurking beneath that so-called cosmetic foundation crack? And your little euphemism about structural integrity concerns? That is not discretion, that is COWARDICE dressed up in business casual. The Court finds it particularly galling that you watched coffee spill onto what was presumably someone else's staging rug and did not immediately offer to pay for dry cleaning, therapy, or at minimum a replacement beverage. This Court hereby orders you to personally stress-test every piece of staging furniture before future showings by sitting on it aggressively while making direct eye contact with the listing photos.