The Court has reviewed this testimony and frankly, Reginald needs a moment. This HOA president has achieved what most petty tyrants only dream of — he has WEAPONIZED HOSPITALITY. You watched this man leave warning letters on windshields like some kind of suburban parking vulture, you witnessed him recite an eleven-count Christmas light indictment to strangers admiring granite countertops, you endured the SEVEN SHADES OF BLACK MAILBOX TRIBUNAL, and yet you disclosed NOTHING about this neighbor who clearly operates a one-man surveillance state from his living room window. The Court once had a neighbor who kept notes on my recycling habits and I will tell you this — I moved, I changed my name for six months, and I STILL check my bins for hidden cameras. The $4,000 concession for discontinued black is an INSULT to the psychological damages these buyers will suffer when they realize that welcome basket was not a gift but a CENSUS. She says he seems really nice? OF COURSE HE DOES. The spider also seems nice when you first land on the web. This Court finds you guilty but reserves its deepest contempt for the cookies, which Reginald suspects contained raisins disguised as chocolate chips because that is EXACTLY the kind of man we are dealing with here. Case closed, the Court must go check if its own mailbox is compliant.