The Court has reviewed this catastrophic parade of familial financial dysfunction and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL. Let Reginald be perfectly clear: a man borrowed EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS from his brother-in-law for a kitchen renovation, produced NO KITCHEN, and then simply FORGOT about it the way one forgets to buy milk. The 1987 wood-paneled microwave stands as a monument to this fraud, a culinary time capsule of LIES, and I want it subpoenaed as a material witness. This Court once ruled against my own cousin for failing to disclose a load-bearing argument at Thanksgiving, so I understand family liens better than most, but even I cannot fathom the audacity of buying at 2021 peak prices and then being SHOCKED that mathematics eventually catches up. The seller had the UNMITIGATED GALL to blame the agent, as if real estate professionals are now required to conduct seances to detect handshake loans made over beers in someone's garage. Your buyers walked, the house sits empty, that microwave continues its silent vigil, and The Court finds this entire situation to be a violation of decency itself. VERDICT RENDERED, and Reginald must now go lie down because this one activated something personal.