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CONFESSION #0414 — SHOWING GONE WRONG
Wednesday, April 1, 2026
Her husband got involved. That's really the whole story right there but let me back up. Friday 2pm: showing a condo, $340,000, divorce sale, wife is the seller. Friday 2:07pm: we walk in, husband is sitting on the couch. Not supposed to be there. Wife didn't know either. Friday 2:09pm: husband starts giving the tour. His tour. Pointing out everything he installed himself. The buyers are frozen. Friday 2:12pm: husband opens a closet, pulls out a fishing rod, asks the husband buyer if he fishes. Friday 2:15pm: they're talking about walleye. The wives are standing in the kitchen not speaking. Friday 2:24pm: I get everyone outside finally. Friday 2:25pm: husband follows us to the driveway, gives the buyer his phone number. For fishing tips. Friday 3pm: buyer's agent calls. They're out. Too weird. The wife still calls me sometimes. Still hasn't sold it.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF PERMITTING UNSANCTIONED SPOUSAL INFILTRATION AND FAILURE TO SECURE THE PREMISES AGAINST WALLEYE-RELATED SABOTAGE
The Court has reviewed this timeline with the same horror one feels when discovering a previous owner left their energy in the walls, except in this case the previous owner left HIS ENTIRE PHYSICAL BODY on the couch like some kind of divorce goblin waiting to spring his fishing agenda on innocent buyers. You allowed a showing to devolve into what can only be described as a hostage situation with tackle, and Reginald is DISTURBED. Twenty-four minutes this went on, counsel, TWENTY-FOUR MINUTES of walleye discourse while two women stood in a kitchen experiencing what this Court can only assume was a silence so thick you could spread it on toast. I myself once had a showing derailed when a seller's ex-boyfriend emerged from a basement to explain his cryptocurrency strategy, and I have never recovered, so I understand the paralysis, BUT UNDERSTANDING IS NOT EXONERATION. You should have deployed the classic maneuver of pretending to receive an urgent call about a gas leak, or simply grabbed your buyers and fled as if from a fire, because emotionally speaking THERE WAS A FIRE. The fact that this woman still calls you suggests she has confused you for a therapist, and the fact that you answer suggests you have confused yourself for one too. Case closed, the condo is cursed, and The Court must now go lie down because this ruling has resurfaced memories Reginald thought he had successfully buried.
SCANDAL RATING: 6.8/10 Walleye Ambush Enabling

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