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CONFESSION #0415 — NEIGHBOR SABOTAGE
Wednesday, April 1, 2026
We were in multiple offers. My buyers go 40k over asking. We win. Monday: inspection goes clean. Tuesday: loan docs moving. Wednesday: neighbor walks into our open house at a different listing across town. Says oh you're the one buying the Peterson place. Says good luck with that. Thursday: neighbor sends a letter to my buyers. Certified mail. Three pages. Details every dispute with the sellers going back six years. Fence line. Tree roots. A 2019 lawsuit over drainage. Friday: my buyers want to back out. Saturday: I pull the court records. Lawsuit was real. Sellers disclosed nothing. Monday: we cancel. Lose earnest money. 8 thousand dollars. Tuesday: listing agent calls me. Asks why. I tell her. She says the neighbor does this every time they try to sell. Third buyer in two years. The house is still on market. Price dropped 50k last month. Neighbor's still there. Watering his lawn every morning at 6am like nothing happened.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF BEING VICTIMIZED BY LAWN-CARE TERRORISM AND FAILING TO SUBPOENA THE SPRINKLER SYSTEM
The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly Reginald is SEETHING but not at you. This is a case of neighborhood warfare so petty it makes The Court's ongoing dispute with my dry cleaner look REASONABLE and that man KNOWS what he did to my judicial robes. Your buyers lost eight thousand dollars because a man who waters his lawn at 6am like some kind of suburban supervillain decided that certified mail was his weapon of choice. The sellers disclosed NOTHING about a DOCUMENTED LAWSUIT which is the real estate equivalent of selling someone a car and forgetting to mention it's currently on fire. You did your job you pulled the records you protected your clients and yet HERE WE ARE because Gary or whatever his name is has apparently made blocking home sales his entire personality. The Court finds the neighbor guilty in absentia of First-Degree Hose-Related Intimidation and sentences him to step on a sprinkler head barefoot. Case dismissed and The Court must now go lie down because this level of pettiness has given Reginald a migraine.
SCANDAL RATING: 6.3/10 VENDETTA BY CERTIFIED MAIL

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