The Court has reviewed this confession with the weariness of a man who has himself been accused of crimes he did not commit, specifically the time a homeowner blamed Reginald for a septic issue that PREDATED THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE. Let the record show that real estate agents are not, contrary to popular belief, equipped with thermal imaging capabilities or the legal authority to excavate insulation like some kind of licensed attic archaeologist. The seller's attorney appears to be operating under the legal theory established in Delusional v. Reality, a case this Court just invented but which SHOULD exist. However, AND THIS IS WHERE REGINALD MUST INTERVENE, you allowed a woman to list at eight fifty with THAT kitchen, which you described with the verbal equivalent of a shudder, and then you answered the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR FOURTEEN MONTHS when you could have simply perished, as many of us wish to do when faced with persistent dinner-hour callers. The husband conveniently died with all the electrical knowledge, the neighbor got lucky in 2021 because EVERYONE got lucky in 2021 and we need to STOP USING THAT YEAR AS A BENCHMARK, and now you sit before this Court earning four dollars an hour while a Roomba named Order earns NOTHING but at least maintains its dignity. The house is not cursed but your professional boundaries certainly are, and The Court is frankly exhausted just reading this. VERDICT RENDERED, Reginald must now go lie down.