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CONFESSION #0433 — INSPECTION NIGHTMARE
Wednesday, April 8, 2026
The other agent emailed at 9pm. Subject line just says "call me." Never good.
Turns out the inspector found knob and tube wiring. Not some of it. All of it. The whole house. Seller's disclosure said "updated electrical" and I asked her about it before we listed, I said "updated how" and she goes "my husband did it in the 90s."
Her husband ran new wire to the kitchen. That's it. One room.
Buyer's agent is on the phone saying "my clients feel misled" and I'm thinking yeah, me too. Rewire estimate comes back at fourteen thousand and the sellers are retired, fixed income, they genuinely thought they'd done the right thing.
The buyer wanted them to cover all of it. Sellers said they could do five. Buyer walked.
Relisted it with the disclosure fixed. Sat for two months. Finally sold for twenty-two less than the original offer.
The husband still thinks he did good electrical work. Still thinks that.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF NEGLIGENT DISCLOSURE LAUNDERING AND ACCESSORY TO SPOUSAL DELUSION IN THE FIRST DEGREE
The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself DEEPLY DISTURBED by the phrase "my husband did it in the 90s" being treated as ANY form of electrical credential. Reginald once dated a woman whose ex-husband "fixed" her garbage disposal and she is STILL finding screws in her soup to this day, so The Court understands the gravitational pull of spousal optimism, but "updated electrical" does not mean "ran one wire to the kitchen so he could plug in a bread maker." You asked the right question and accepted the wrong answer, counsel, and now twenty-two thousand dollars has evaporated into the void alongside this man's unshakeable belief that he is basically a licensed electrician. The buyer walked, the house sat, and somewhere in that home a junction box held together by hubris and electrical tape awaits its moment. The Court notes that you RELISTED WITH CORRECTED DISCLOSURE, which is the bare minimum of human decency, but Reginald is not in the business of handing out gold stars for NOT committing fraud twice. This Court hereby orders you to never again accept "my husband did it" as documentation unless that husband can produce a permit, a license, or at minimum a basic understanding of what century the wiring in his walls is from. Case dismissed, The Court needs to go call his own electrician about something unrelated.
Knob And Tube Cope
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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