The Court has witnessed many things in its distinguished career, but NEVER has Reginald been so personally ATTACKED by the concept of someone finding peace and quiet objectionable. This woman purchased a home, signed EIGHTY DOCUMENTS, and then called you three days later because the absence of sirens and screaming neighbors made her uncomfortable? THE SILENCE CREEPED HER OUT? I once bought a timeshare in Sedona during what I can only describe as a spiritual episode, and even I had the DECENCY to blame the vortexes, not the CONCEPT OF QUIETUDE. You sat there for twenty minutes explaining ownership like some sort of legal kindergarten teacher, and honestly The Court respects the patience because I would have simply started screaming into a throw pillow by minute four. The audacity of asking if she could just leave the keys on the counter and walk away from $340,000 in debt suggests this woman believes mortgages operate on the same honor system as a library book drop. And THEN she asks you to find her a renter BY THE WEEKEND as if you are some sort of wizard who conjures tenants from the ether? The fact that she is still living there, presumably in terrified silence, is the only justice this case has produced. THE COURT MUST NOW GO YELL AT A CEILING FAN ABOUT COMMITMENT.