The Court has witnessed many crimes against the sacred institution of closing, but THIS — THIS is what happens when agents treat Instagram like a confessional and escrow like a suggestion. You posted "SOLD in 3 days" when the ink was not dry, the funds were not wired, and apparently the buyer was STILL COLLECTING A PAYCHECK FROM AN EMPLOYER WHO HAD NO IDEA HE WAS FLEEING TO WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME WAS A MEDIOCRE THREE-BEDROOM WITH ORIGINAL BRASS FIXTURES. Reginald himself once celebrated a verdict before the jury returned and ended up having to apologize to a ceiling fan manufacturer for six weeks, so I understand the impulse, but I DID NOT COST A RETIREE TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS AND A FLORIDA CONDO. The daughter's comment on your child's birthday photos is, frankly, the kind of targeted emotional warfare that The Court respects even as it deplores — she found the soft underbelly of your digital presence and she STRUCK. Your broker wanted you "active on social media" and now you are active in a nightmare of your own creation, a cautionary tale whispered in CE classes for generations to come. The Court rules that you are hereby sentenced to never again use the word "sold" until you are physically holding a HUD statement in one hand and a notarized deed in the other, and even then you must WHISPER IT.