The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the casual cruelty on display here. A man drove FORTY MINUTES for a bathroom that does not exist. His mother-in-law is moving in — he said it three times because he is a man DROWNING, and you stood there in that hallway like a lighthouse with no light, offering nothing but the cold comfort of "looking into it." And then — AND THEN — the listing agent responds with "oops lol" as if they had accidentally sent the wrong emoji and not FABRICATED AN ENTIRE PLUMBING FIXTURE. Reginald once dated a woman who listed herself as "emotionally available" on her profile, and when confronted, she also said "oops lol," so The Court understands the specific violence of those two words. You were alone in that house at 3pm because the truth had already left the building, and you chose to stay with the lie. Four hundred eighty-five THOUSAND dollars for two bathrooms and a text message that should be admissible as evidence of sociopathy. The mother-in-law will remember this. The Court will remember this. Order the Roomba is circling the bench in what can only be described as judicial distress.