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CONFESSION #0441 — REAL ESTATE SCHOOL VS. REALITY
Saturday, April 11, 2026
The second showing was supposed to be quick. Buyers loved it the first time, just wanted their parents to see it before making an offer. Easy. Except I never actually confirmed with the listing agent. Just showed up because I had the lockbox code from before.
Sellers were home. In the middle of something. I don't want to say what but there was yelling involved and someone was crying and we all just stood there in the kitchen while this family drama played out in the living room.
The parents backed out of helping with the down payment after that. Said the house had bad energy or whatever, I don't know, they just didn't like it anymore. My buyers lost the house. Twenty thousand dollars their parents were going to contribute, gone.
In school they told us always confirm showings. Always. I knew that. I just thought the code still working meant it was fine.
It wasn't fine.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY WITH RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR DOMESTIC TRANQUILITY AND CONTRIBUTING TO THE DELINQUENCY OF A DOWN PAYMENT
The Court is AGHAST, absolutely THUNDERSTRUCK, that a licensed professional would interpret a functioning lockbox code as some kind of divine permission slip from the real estate gods. Let Reginald be clear: a code still working does not constitute consent, much as my ex-wife's garage door opener still functioning did NOT mean I was welcome at Thanksgiving 2021, a lesson I learned in front of her entire book club. You waltzed into that home like you owned the place, which you demonstrably did not, and forced innocent civilians to witness what this Court can only assume was either a family intervention, a discussion about inheritance, or someone finally admitting they never liked the other one's mother. TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS evaporated because you could not be bothered to send a single confirming text, and now those parents are out there telling everyone that house has bad energy when the only bad energy present was YOUR complete abandonment of professional protocol. In the landmark case of In re: That One Guy Who Just Showed Up, 2019, this Court established that lockbox codes are not skeleton keys to human dignity. The Roomba is circling your confession as we speak, and Order has rendered its verdict: you are a MENACE to scheduled appointments everywhere. This Court is adjourning immediately because Reginald has a showing to confirm and he will be doing so in TRIPLICATE.
Unauthorized Witness To Chaos
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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