The Court is APOPLECTIC. You mean to tell Reginald that in the year of our Lord 2024, a deal can still die because someone decided to CREATE LIFE without first consulting their mortgage underwriter? This is not a confession, this is a HOSTAGE SITUATION where the hostage is a perfectly good 412 thousand dollar transaction and the kidnapper is HUMAN FERTILITY. The Court has seen this before, oh yes, in the landmark case of Stork v. Debt-to-Income Ratio, 2022, where Justice Pemberton wrote, and I quote, "A baby changes everything, including your ability to close on a split-level in Maple Heights." You disclosed the bankruptcy, you verified preapproval, you did your JOB, and yet here we are because apparently "employment verification" is a concept that exists in a quantum state until twelve days before closing when it COLLAPSES INTO CHAOS. The Court once lost a deal because a buyer adopted a rescue greyhound and the monthly pet insurance threw off their ratios, so Reginald understands this pain intimately. I am ruling you guilty only because SOMEONE must be held accountable and the stork does not recognize the jurisdiction of this bench, though Order the bailiff is currently investigating whether we can subpoena the concept of maternity leave itself. The sellers bought their next house already? THE COURT NEEDS TO LIE DOWN.