The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the sheer bureaucratic violence inflicted upon all parties by what can only be described as an appraiser suffering from Fastener Fixation Disorder. Let the record show that nail pops are a COSMETIC PHENOMENON experienced by approximately every deck that has ever existed, a fact established in the landmark case of Home Depot v. Basic Carpentry Knowledge, 1974. This Court once had a nail pop in its own deck and simply LOOKED AT IT DISAPPROVINGLY until it understood its place, which is what any reasonable person would do. Instead, your appraiser demanded an eight hundred dollar engineer letter to confirm what the contractor confirmed in one hour, which is that WOOD MOVES AND NAILS SOMETIMES BECOME VISIBLE, this is not a structural emergency, this is TUESDAY. The buyer lost four thousand dollars because one person with a clipboard decided to cosplay as a structural engineer without the training or the humility, and The Court finds this appraiser guilty of what Reginald can only call Clipboard Tyranny. As for the seller's wife and her tire curse, The Court cannot officially endorse such sentiments but will note for the record that it has added her to my personal list of People Who Understand Justice. CASE DISMISSED, and may that appraiser step on a LEGO every morning for the next calendar year.