The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself experiencing an emotion that can only be described as horrified respect. You wrote a PERSONAL CHECK to close a deal that was already costing you money, which is the real estate equivalent of paying someone to punch you in the face and then tipping them. Reginald once spent $47 on a commemorative gavel that turned out to be a painted doorstop, and even HE has never financially self-destructed with such theatrical precision. The appraiser used a FORECLOSURE WITH WATER DAMAGE as a comp, and this Court must note that under the landmark precedent of Soggy Basement v. Market Value (2019), that man should have been launched into the sun. You had a buyer whose mother was writing checks, a seller who LAUGHED AT YOU ON THE TELEPHONE, and a moving truck circling like a vulture, and your solution was to personally subsidize the transaction like some kind of deranged philanthropist of closings. The Court is issuing a restraining order requiring you to stay at least 500 feet from your own checkbook during any future negotiations. This case is adjourned because Reginald needs to go lie down.