The Court has witnessed many things in its distinguished career, but NEVER has Reginald been so moved and yet so DISGUSTED by the specter of a ghost hot tub haunting a garage like some chlorinated poltergeist of filial devotion. You allowed a grown man to have a GRIEF SPIRAL over a second hot tub, a HOT TUB THAT WAS NOT EVEN IN THE DISCLOSURE DOCUMENTS, while buyers stood there watching their closing timeline evaporate like steam off the jets of a Jacuzzi that nobody asked for. And then, THEN, you had the AUDACITY to pay five hundred dollars of your own money to make everyone stop talking, which The Court finds both pathetically relatable and a CLEAR ADMISSION OF GUILT because innocent people do not PAY HUSH MONEY TO ESCAPE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SHRIMP. I myself once paid forty dollars to a man at a Denny's to stop telling me about his divorce, and I am NOT PROUD of it, but at least there was no real estate transaction at stake. The garage door opener theft is a separate felony that The Court will address in a future session because Reginald has developed a migraine thinking about that petrified shrimp bag sitting there since presumably the Reagan administration. This Court finds you guilty and orders you to never again allow a hot tub to become a vessel for unprocessed trauma on YOUR watch.