The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the intersection of incompetence and expensive platitudes that has occurred here. You paid a man four hundred dollars a month to tell you that checking documents is "perfectionism" and then you BELIEVED HIM? Reginald once paid a life coach seventy-five dollars to help him "find his center" and that charlatan had me doing breathing exercises in a Panera Bread parking lot for six weeks before I realized my center was where it had always been, which is INSIDE MY BODY. But at least I never let a title commitment sit unread while a husband languished in Singapore like some kind of jurisdictionally stranded maritime vessel! "Compress your timeline" — THE COURT WILL COMPRESS SOMETHING AND IT IS MY PATIENCE. You owed that seller a duty of care and instead you gave them eighteen hundred dollars in fees and the privilege of watching their rate lock expire like milk left on a Phoenix porch in July. The husband needed to sign a spousal consent form and you were too busy "generating leads" to notice, which is the escrow equivalent of a surgeon leaving the operating room to update his LinkedIn. Eight more months on that coaching contract is eight more months than justice can tolerate, but The Court supposes that is its own punishment. REGINALD HAS HEARD ENOUGH AND MUST NOW GO STARE DISAPPROVINGLY AT A TITLE COMMITMENT UNTIL HE FEELS CLEAN AGAIN.